The holiday season is marked by extremes. More people, more activities, more traffic, more to-do lists, heightened expectations, and more emotions than usual. This results in less patience, more reactive behavior, and more conflicts. Parents are particularly strained as they get served an additional doze of gift lists, concerts, Santa pictures, and family fun.
This season is beautiful, happy, and filled with laughter and love is what we hear everywhere. Yes…and no. For each of us, it will be our own unique, sometimes messy and disorderly experience. As we take in the images of beautiful decors in the design magazines, festive dishes in the food stores, and joyful families in the holiday movies, we may end up feeling more insecure, inadequate or downright failing. Sadness and grief may overcome us as we remember people we have lost or painful past holidays.
What can I do for myself?
- Relax. Accept that this time is a little crazy. It just is.
- Inform yourself. Develop attitudes, routines, and ways of managing by learning from others. There is so much written out there. Search it, consult it.
- Don’t try to change yourself this month. If you must, select one thing at a time. Each day, we have a limited amount of mental energy to spend.
- Be kind to yourself. This may be the hardest as many of us are not used to it. Try it.
How can I be of help to my family and friends?
- Try to ground yourself first. Be clear with your family what you require of them in order to maintain your calm.
- Give others space to move around and make mistakes. Be aware of your need to control them.
- Observe your closest people quietly to see exactly what their needs are. If it is not obvious, ask. Do what they want as they want it. If you can. Don’t promise before you’ve checked in with yourself that you are calm and you have time.